Dear lady at Wal-Mart,
You do know there are changing rooms, right?
Sincerely, didn't need to see that today.
Dear flashlights, alarm clocks and cameras,
Sorry.
Sincerely, cell phones.
Dear elbow,
One of these days...
Sincerely, tongue.
Dear teachers,
Please stop welcoming us back from break. It only makes it worse.
Sincerely, I'd still be sleeping right now.
Dear monsters under the bed,
You can stop trying, nothing scares me anymore.
Sincerely, I just saw my grandfather naked.
Dear super jealous boyfriends,
Believe it or not, we can actually have male friends without sleeping with them.
Sincerely, good girlfriends.
Dear snow plow man,
So how do you get to work in the morning?
Sincerely, genuinely curious.
Dear cancer,
My mom is too strong for you. Just leave already.
Sincerely, daughter.
Dear humans,
Enjoy my lucky feet. Jerks.
Sincerely, unlucky rabbit.
Dear boyfriend,
Why is it that you can fart in front of me incessantly, but me burping once is the nastiest thing you've ever heard?
Sincerely, it tasted like root beer, btw.
Dear man taking the elevator down one level,
There's a reason why you're overweight.
Sincerely, take the stairs.
Dear dad,
There IS a difference between butt dialing and a booty call.
Sincerely, just so you know.
Dear accident prone child,
It all started when the condom broke...
Sincerely, good luck out there.
Dear girls,
It's fine if you want to be perfect like Barbie, just remember she ended up with a plastic boyfriend who has no penis.
Sincerely, it's ok not to be perfect sometimes.
Dear 2011,
We thought you would have flying cars and robots by now, but congrats on the backwards robes and rubber bands shaped like animals...
Sincerely, 1950.
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